🐽The True Story of the 3 Little Pigs🐽

🐽The True Story of the 3 Little Pigs🐽

Once upon a time I was making a cake for my granny because she was too old and too fat to make her own cake. I was sick with a cold. When I was making the cake I realised that I had no sugar because my neighbours took all of it. So I went down to my neighbours -house to trade back some sugar. 

He had made his house out of straw. When I got there I knocked on the door and I said “Stupid little pig, stupid little pig are you in?” and the pig said “ Go away you old bag of bones I’m shaving here.” I got a little mad but I was getting old and you can’t interrupt a man when he is shaving. Then I felt a sneeze coming on. I puffed and snuffed, Achoo. 

Then the little pig’s house fell down with the pig in it. He  went down like a door nail. The pig looked dead so I ate it with some salt. “Maybe I will put some pepper on it next time” I said to myself. 

So I went to his smarter brother's house. When I got there I said “ Smarter little pig, smarter little pig are you in?”  There was no answer.  So I started to walk away when  I felt a little sniffle coming on. I puffed and I snuffed and I blew that stick house down. That pig looked like it was in the same place as the other pig. So I ate it and put some pepper on it.

I went to the third little pigs house. He was the gifted one I guess, because he made his house out of bricks. I said “Little pig little pig are you in, you dummy? You know what that rude little idiot said?  “Go away you big fatty.” Now, I was going to go home and maybe make a nice card or something. But then I felt my cold coming a long, I puffed and I snuffed. Achoo. Then the pig said “You are as fat as your dumb granny.” Now, I am normally a pretty nice guy but when someone says something bad about my granny I lose it! “You are an idiot little pig.” I said 

But then I heard the sirens and I tried to run away. But then the Air Force came in. When I was at jail I got a newspaper and you know what those pigs did. They put me as the shady person to make the story more juicy. “When I see that pig again I will hurt him  like I have never hurt something before!” When I get out of here!